29082025, friday
this year i am learning a lot about grief.
i lost my uncle first.
he went away so suddenly, no one expected it. he wasn’t sick. he wasn’t old. he just went. and since then, shock and pain have become a part of who i am.
he was such a big part of my life; he helped shape my definition of family. when i was little, he would always play hide and seek with me. on hot summer days, he would drive me and my friends to his house so we could swim in his pool, and afterwards he would give us food. i loved going to his house. he would drive me to high school, and he made my mornings less depressing by making me laugh on the way. he was always so caring and gentle. he loved being hugged. he loved me. and i love him. and i miss him. i still have so many of our conversations engraved in my mind.
then i lost my best friend.
she died at some point, and what was left was just a shell of the person she once was. that person i miss, and i love. but she is now gone and buried, just like my uncle. she grew up with me, and i never saw myself without her. the good thing is that, just like my uncle, i can still carry the version of her that was gentle and caring in my heart.
either way, the world keeps spinning. everything is still the same, even though i am forever changed.
and you can say whatever, assume whatever, convince yourself you hate me, but you can never forget those nights when i was the only one there for you. because who else would understand your pain?