26122025, friday
i told you i was over you. i told you it was nothing, just a crush.
that was a lie, and you know it. or maybe you dont, because you never cared enough to ask. ask me how i really feel.
actually, thank God you never did. you’d be scared. just like i am. i could build an entire universe out of what i feel for you, fill it with life, with stars, with endless versions of us.
i spent so many days believing that one morning you would wake up and realize how deeply, how wildly in love with me you were. but that morning never came. and it never will, will it?
there is no us. only the version that lives in my head, where it’s just you and me, where it’s simple. but in this life? no. not here. not ever. (it’s weird how we exist so vividly in my head and i dont exist in yours at all. i keep trying to find myself in you... but there is nothing).
and you already found your person. i’m supposed to move on blah blah blah. i don’t know how. will you ever be mine? no, im so stupid.
i miss clouds. i miss you.
i will never, ever send you this letter.